It’s 2015; more I’m finding myself living in an absolute fantasy and disaster. I’ve written so many blogs in the past, and they never seem to stick, until you reach that moment when everything comes together. So what happened in 2015?
So what happened in 2015?
I got engaged on May 8, 2015, and by July 22, 2015, I was married to someone I had only met January of that year. It sounds crazy, but to us it felt right. I guess I ended up with my Disney Princess Fairytale until reality hit. Don’t get me wrong I married my prince charming, and I wouldn’t change a thing.
When we decided to get married, we never realized that there were many more components to marriage than husband and wife and building a foundation together. Shehab and I are family oriented individuals, but sometimes families have different perspectives and norms. We had a hard time adjusting to each other’s environments, me more than him. Every family has their form of communication and interaction. As respect to my husband, I will not be sharing his personal family stories on this blog.
Location, where are we going to live? I love living in Minnesota even though the snow is a bit of a bother, Shahab’s dream is to either take over his dad’s business in Bangladesh or work on Wall Street in New York? So how were we going to make our jobs work? Are careers more important than our marriage? We’re both very passionate individuals, especially when it comes to fulfilling our dreams and let’s just say Shehab is willing to settle more than me. I’m quite stubborn to be completely honest; sometimes I wonder how Shehab’s going handle this in the future.
Which leads to the next component of marriage, compromise. I had a Communications professor who once said, excuse my language, “compromise is bull sh*t!” marriage should be about making each other happy and doing what’s best for each other. But how do you do that when you both want different things right?
Here’s another piece of the puzzle…
See Shehab and I live far from each other and since he’s still in school and I’m working, well we see each other on the weekends!
So we haven’t been able to live together and create that family foundation.That’s when we realized that we faced a ton of obstacles in the couple short months we were dating. One being getting his dad’s approval. (Yep, we had to get his dad’s approval to date.) And as much as the anticipation hurt, it made me realize that the entire time, Shehab stayed strong as always told me we could do it. We were a team and we decided to stay together
Now I just highlighted the obstacles we faced, but to be completely honest, this guy does make me feel like a Princess. Now I just highlighted the conflicts we faced, but to be completely honest, this guy makes me feel like a Princess.
The thing that we had to realize: there’s always going to be conflict but in the end it’s about helping each other understand and working through our problems. We decided to take one day at a time, even though I’m someone who’s constantly stressing about the future.
And this is I’m sitting here, writing a blog again trying to understand what exactly happened in 2015, and it’s only November, but you know what. I’m not the only one who struggled with the obstacles and joys of marriage. As many of the ladies in my Bengali community constantly say, “we’ve all been through this…” Sometimes it just helps to have the heads up right.
Well here’s the hard truth, Disney movies always end with the wedding, and they never present us with the aftermath of marriage, not to say that I don’t love marriage. But there’s always other components to marriage than the dazzling Happy Ever After’s in the movies.You’ve got to enjoy all the happy memories and learn from the obstacles if you truly want to have your fairy tale happy ever after. Looking back, I would do it again! There’s more to love and marriage than a happy ending, it’s an abstract adventure of love, friendship, trust, pain, and hope.
So why did I create the Abstract of Ishq (love)? Abstract of Ishq is a place for me to share my journey. To understand my past, present and future endeavors and to face the obstacles life and crazy surprises life has planned for me. At least I’m not going through it alone! I have my husband and my silly baby sister by my side.
In the end, it’s all about the journey.
*The photo above was from our Engagement on May 8, 2015. The photograph was taken by Altamish + Hannan Photography