Our Heartbreaking Christmas

posted in: Abstract Life, Journal | 0

Christmas didn’t turn out the way I thought it would this year. My mum was in Bangladesh shopping for my wedding reception and Shehab spent Christmas in New York. It would have been his first Christmas in the United States, but he needed a little vacation and needed to be with family. I think space was right for us, I’ve been so stressed and frustrated that I wasn’t much fun to be around. It was hard not having my mother around as well. I tried my best to remain energetic and happy for Dora. I even made up for our forgetful Tooth Fairy moment.

Dora and me

I managed to cook my traditional Christmas dinner: Lamb Roast, herb roasted red potatoes, buttered asparagus, and dinner rolls. Preenon brought a Pumpkin pie on his way from school and instead of wine we had sparkling juice. I would say dinner was a semi success since I overcooked the lamb.I wish I paid attention more to our dinner or to the fact that nonstick roasting pans produce a lot more gas. As a result, our Parakeets, Pumpkin, and Blueberry died on Christmas day. (Birds, especially Parakeets are very sensitive to CO2. They weren’t in the kitchen. However, the small amount of CO2 spread throughout the house. Blueberry was at the bottom of the cage when I found her and Pumpkin died in Dora’s arms.


I couldn’t hold back the tears when I found Blueberry at the bottom of the cage and after Pumpkin died. I kissed her a couple of times (even though I shouldn’t have because at the time I didn’t know why she died). We adopted Blueberry from Petsmart and Pumpkin from the Humane Society. Pumpkin had been in a couple of homes before we adopted her. The Humane Society said she must have been abused because she did not like people. We were told that it wasn’t safe to adopt her because she might bite Dora. Before we adopted Pumpkin she lived in a nursing home but they surrendered her because they couldn’t give her enough attention.

We still decided to give it a try, when we went to visit Pumpkin at the Humane Society she responded to Dora right away. We couldn’t touch her, but she enjoyed talking and interacting with Dora. We used to let her out of the cage, and she would wander the house freely exploring. The best thing about Pumpkin was she would always return to her cage. We adopted Blueberry a month later. Blueberry was a little more playful at first she loved sitting on Dora’s shoulders but eventually she liked being alone.

It was always fun to watch Pumpkin and Blueberry interact. They knew exactly when they wanted to sleep, 9:00 p.m. every night and when they wanted to wake up, 7:30 a.m. if everyone else was awake. You could never leave the house without saying, “Goodbye Pumpkin, Goodbye Blueberry.” I miss them! They were family.

Pumpkin and Blueberry’s deaths taught me something. It made me realize how I had become negligent and disconnected from everyone. I allowed frustration get to the best to me to the point where I didn’t notice the warning signs until it was too late. I don’t think I could have changed the turn of events.  I didn’t know that non-stick pans produce more gas. However, I could have given Blueberry a better last moment. Pumpkin died in Dora’s arms covered with my kisses. Their deaths made me realize that life is precious and that you have one chance to make a difference in this world. Pumpkin was breaking her barrier and showing us that a second chance at trust was possible made me realize that I need to break my walls. Pumpkin never lets us touch her; she was very clear about her boundaries. However, she enjoyed exploring the house. She would often walk to different rooms and observe what we were doing. December 25, 2015, is a day I will always remember, it was the day we lost Pumpkin and Blueberry, but it was also a day for me to remember that a second chance at the trust is possible.