Wedding Planning, I haven’t even started!

posted in: Abstract Life | 0

 

Wedding Planning

Ok so I got legally married back in July, but my large official reception doesn’t happen until May. I’m happy to announce that I have reserved my wedding venue, well one of them at least. Yea, Bengali weddings are quite long, but I’m getting there. So I found the perfect venue for my wedding, and that’s about it! I have less than six months to plan a wedding and procrastinating isn’t helping. So what’s on my upcoming list…

 

  1. Formally ask my bridesmaids: Ok so I have a confession to make, I chose my bridesmaids sarees before I formally asked anyone. I ordered them online, and they were the perfect colors and design. I texted all my bridesmaids for their sizes before formally asking them. I know it’s horrible, I did get a lecture from my sister about it, but I was just overly excited.
  2. Ordering my centerpieces. So I have this vision and idea in my mind, something with roses, pearls, and tea candles. My wedding colors are pearl and maroon. I have the idea in my mind, but it’s going to take a while to create them and my plan is to order a ton of supplies wholesale online. I know what you’re thinking, you realize shipping takes forever? I know, that’s why I need to get my butt going.
  3. Flowers: Umm yea, so I never really thought about my bouquet or flowers and I decided to go with the most expensive flower on the face of the earth, umm yea… maybe I should get the whole florist, flowers, cost thing right now.
  4. Guest List and Invitations: My mom printed invitations in Bangladesh, yay, but I haven’t even finalized my guest lists, especially since my pre-reception venue refuses to answer my calls! Frustrating right? And what’s the rule for guest, I mean I have friends who invited me to their weddings, but I’m not in contact with them anymore, do I still invite them? Also, we’re only allowing children of close family friends to attend. With all of my family members we’re limited on seating, Yea even three hundred attendees isn’t enough, so is it bad not to allow a plus 1 when we have to put no uninvited guest. (reason for this… I’ve had experiences where guests bombard weddings with random family members and friends without your consent. I guess you have to a be a little harsh sometimes!)
  5. Decorations: So I have my centerpieces planned out, but what about the rest of the stuff? Seating arrangements, table numbers, meet the wedding party, backdropalright before I overwhelm myself, I think I’m going to turn to Pinterest for some inspiration.
  6. DJ: well my baby brother is a DJ, but I think he’d rather enjoy the wedding, so now it’s time to hunt down a DJ.
  7. Photographers and Videographers: So I’ve worked with a list of amazing photographers who are also close friends. It’s a little hard to choose the right photographer. I know I want at least two different photographers, one to follow the groom and his family and one to follow my family and me. Videographer? I don’t even want to think about that right now.
  8. Food: Oh the magic word, half of my venue delay was because we were trying to find a venue that allows Southeastern cuisine, after months of searching for a place, I realized I want something different! I mean we’re going to have Southeastern cuisine the day before right, and it gets messy. Now the struggle is finding the right dish, we’re having plated dinners, but haven’t decided what to choose.
  9. Cake: All I know is Shehab and I both love Chocolate cake, but not everyone does. I was thinking about having a small tiered cake for cutting and then having two different types of cake based on everyone’s preference.

    And then there’s everything else. I’m just going to get this checklist out of the way before I begin adding to it. However, it would help to get some advice and ideas. Feel free to remind me of things I’m missing on the list, I know there’s a lot
    .

Good Night, I Love you

posted in: Journey of Love | 0

Goodnight

Shehab and I have one rule for our fights; no one goes to sleep angry. However, I often break the rules. I didn’t realize it, but that anger from the day before does carry on with you the next day. Sometimes it haunts your dreams, and it’s not a fun feeling. Especially when your partner has released that negative energy.

So how do you resolve the issue:

The last thing you should say every night is

Goodnight and I love you. It sounds a little cliche, but these words do have a large effect on you.

Now Shehab and I don’t say goodnight, and I love you to ignore a fight, we say it at the end when we completely know that the tension is resolved. It’s our signal to say it’s ok, and we’ll be fine.

I love this about Shehab. As I’ve disclosed before and you’ve figured out, sometimes I let negative energy and anger get the best of me. I tend to hold grudges, especially when hurtful things have been said. No matter how bad our fights get, Shehab constantly repeats the following, “Babe, I love you” or “Ishika, I love you so much.” I don’t want to hear it half the time, but when I walk away and calm myself down, those reassuring statements do help a lot.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, even in times of conflict don’t let your anger get the best of you. Sometimes just taking a breath or thinking things through can help. Like I said, no matter how angry Shehab gets, he’s yelling and then there’s a “but, I love you” it’s actually kind of adorable.

When you love each other, you can overcome any obstacle or conflict. However, don’t ever let yourself go to sleep with anger or frustration. End it that day, because it will flow onto the next day. I’ve realized the consequences of breaking the rules. Always go to sleep with a Goodnight, I love you!

Photo Credit: Mink Mingle

The start of our Love Story

posted in: Journey of Love, Marriage | 0

LoveStory

 

I always told myself I would never get married within six months. I kind of feel like a hypocrite now, since that’s what happened! Yep, Shehab and I got married on a day less than six months of our first date. To some, it might sound like a chaotic nightmare. To me, well I’ll get back to you on that.

I don’t regret it, though. Looking back, we’ve had our ups and downs, and it’s only been four months. You could say we haven’t experienced the reality of marriage since I haven’t had my official reception yet, and we only live together on the weekends! Now that’s another story.

I know everyone is probably wondering, how did Shehab meet Ishika? Well here’s how the story goes.

Shehab had been living in the Minnesota since 2013 perusing a Master’s in Business Administration. On April 26, 2014, we went attended the same show at his University. The irony, we have pictures of him sitting right next to my mom! We never noticed each other until the following year. Our family friend was having his Islamic akth on January 18, 2015, Shehab and I both attended the holud ceremony on January 16, 2015. He had just returned from a visit to Bangladesh.

The bride was only a couple of years older than me, and I knew this wedding would lead to the magical question of, “so when is it your turn?” And that’s something I did not want to deal with hearing.

Flashback to the past.

My aunt brought my first proposal when I was seventeen, barely done with high school and I completely freaked out! Since then people had been fearful of bringing me a proposal, I mean I was barely done with high school! My mom always defended me, though, any proposal that came was given directly to me because it was my decision. My aunt and I would have a discussion every year about me being “ready” for marriage. How do you know if you’re ready, without speaking to the guy! My answer was always, “I’ll meet the guy, but I can’t guarantee anything!” She never came back until the following year; it was a fun cycle while it lasted.

Back to the wedding, so like I said I did not want to deal with the…” so you’re next!” or “when is it your turn?” so I spent a majority of my time hiding in different rooms since they had the holud and akht in the house. I guess Shehab spotted me in a single moment when I would peek out into the living room every now and then. I did recall him looking at me and talking to his brother-in-law, which caused me to go back into hiding.

Within that moment, Shehab decided that he needed to get my number. *Shehab later admitted that it was solely to date me; he never thought we would end up married. Anyways he didn’t ask for my number right there and then… He waited until the day of the akht on January 18, and even then it was a little bit of a challenge. I went into hiding the second day as well.

This is how I remember it… I came out to view the ceremony. There was a red couch in the middle of the living room. My dad sat on one end and the other end, next to a couch on a chair was Shehab’s aunt. Trust me this detail is important. They had just served cake, and Shehab sat right next to me. His first words to me, “Aren’t you going to have some cake”? Clever pick up line right!?! This lead into a conversation about cakes because our family friend, the elder sister of the bride makes amazing desserts and she’s finally releasing her yummy recipes at Dolly Loves Food.

So here we’re having our conversation about cakes and his brother-in-law walks by with a nudge and says, “Hey you should tell her about your dad’s business”. And I’m thinking what am I getting myself into? Side Note: Shehab’s dad owns a garments business in Bangladesh that supplies many clothing items to some of the top retailers.

Anyways so he started talking to me about his garments and slowly transitioned into the “Can I get your number?” While my dad sat on one side of me and his aunt on the other!

We started texting after that, but, to be honest; I had no idea that he liked me. On January 23, 2015, he had to attend a conference and on his way home texted me asking if he could see me and have coffee. We ended up going to a Mexican restaurant by my house, and I still had no idea that this was a date…until the next day when he came to my house for my dad’s birthday.

Oh, so how did that happen… well when he came to drop me off at home, my mom invited him and his mom to my dad’s birthday party. She thought it would be nice for his mom to meet more people. Let’s just say both mother and daughter were shocked the next day when Shehab told me he liked me.

Now when did Shehab go from just wanting to date me to falling in love and wanting to marry me?

When my mom invited him to our house, he looked at me and said, “My mom is going to kill me, I never told her I was coming here.”

My response, “Well, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow at my dad’s party if your mom doesn’t kill you and if she does, I guess I’ll see you at your funeral!”

And that’s the story of how Ishika met Shehab and Shehab fell in love with Ishika…

I+H Engagment-50

I should probably clarify some of the terms referenced in this blog posts.

Holud- a pre-ceremony where a yellow paste is placed on the bride and groom’s body as a form of well wishes and luck for their marriage.

Akht- also known as Nikah- this is the Islamic marriage.

How did your love story begin?

*The photo above was from our Engagement on May 8, 2015. The photograph was taken by Altamish + Hannan Photography